“I can control how I respond.” Written February 23, 2019

Learning and owning that I can control how I respond was something I knew to be true but I didn’t really focus on it until I was part of a 12-Step Group for Codependents. 

Going through the 12-Step program helped me to learn to be authentic and accept that I can’t control how others respond when faced with my authentic self. I don’t have to be reckless to be me, I don’t have to be uncaring, unloving or a jerk. I can accept myself. Sometimes I want to be kind, caring, loving, giving…but sometimes I want to be a total jerk and reckless. Regardless of that momentary feeling, I can choose how to respond regardless of how I feel. I chose to respond like Jesus. I will not be perfect but I will strive to do so and repent when I gave into my feelings. 

Below I share with you something given to me during one of the group meetings. I read it often until one day I actually started doing better in responding more and reacting less. 

To God be the glory!

Five Guarantees

1- I cannot control nor am I responsible for - what other people THINK.

2- I cannot control nor am I responsible for - what other people FEEL. 

3- I cannot control nor am I responsible for - what other people DO, or HOW they choose to RESPOND to me.

4- If I try to control or take responsibility for any of the above, I will become frustrated, angry, resentful, discouraged and/or bitter.

5- What I do have control of and am responsible for - is what I THINK, FEEL, AND DO and HOW I choose to RESPOND to others. 

Living out these beliefs in ALL my relationships is a step toward becoming a mature, responsible and content adult. 

From: Dr. Jane Sutton-Brown, Psy.D.