I wasn’t planning on sharing what I wrote in my morning journal entry; however, it became exactly what I needed for this keepsake. 

“I feel a bit rushed. Peace has a grooming appointment at 9:30AM, but first I need to grab his vaccination papers. I have a client at 11:15AM, lunch with my friend, get ready for midweek, hoping to do my nails and the list goes on. I can choose to become peaceful as I get things done and become disciplined in how I use my time. I can choose to be present every time starting now. In Jesus name I pray Amen.” It is December 8, 2021 at 7:38AM.

After writing, I immediately closed my journal and chose to continue working on my keepsake. I believed it would help me stay focused, learn a lesson and feel good to have done something during this time I have with God. My time was limited due to upcoming commitments and because I got going late.

The highlight reads: “Sometimes criticalness, jealousy and pride of thinking I could be doing something better than whatever it is I am doing at the moment kicks in. I pray that you forgive me… Remember Olivia, the way the cross works, although it may not work quickly.” September 11, 2003.

I needed to be reminded that there is nothing better I could be doing at any given moment other than imitating the way of the cross. 

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24 NIV

I am serving Jesus. I don't often think like this. I serve, I do, honestly I think of serving God, I rarely think about serving Jesus. 

Thinking about serving Jesus humbles. I can quickly say, I am humble, because he died on the cross for my sins, but that would be a bold lie.  I don’t think of serving Jesus because I can at times struggle to believe he is present, to believe he is here. 

Jesus is real, I believe that. What causes me to question that is when I face hardships. I wonder, if Jesus really did come to save me and give me life to the full (John 10:10), why then have I faced the hardships I have since I became a christian. 

I want to serve Jesus, but at times I don’t think about it because I can judge myself or put pressure on myself to do what I think serving Jesus should result in, a “perfect” life. That mentality causes me to feel like I am never doing good enough to have life to the full (AKA a “perfect” life).. 

Google dictionary says that the definition of full is: Containing or holding as much or as many as possible; having no empty space.

Jesus has given me life to the full. 

Imagine if my life was a house, every space in my house has a purpose, it is full with what it needs to make that space what it has become. At times, things in that space need to go, their contribution to the space is no longer needed or there was some rearranging that needed to take place to accommodate for the new things that are going in that space. I can only do my part in caring and renovating my house when I focus on Jesus.

This morning, I set out to “do something” in my time with God. I set out to feel productive. I entered this space in my house ready to give, recognizing that God designed this space and filled it with what I need so he can give it to me. I might have started with a Martha mindset, but I am grateful God took me on a different path to remind me with, “Let me fill you, let me serve you, let me love you so you can then do today all I have planned in advance for you to do.” It’s going to be a full day and I am grateful God filled me first!

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”                  Ephesians 2:8-11 NIV