Beauty that last

For years I wanted to feel beautiful. Notice I said, feel beautiful, not be beautiful. Reflexion and personal study lead me to conclude that when a person considers someone beautiful, many factors influence their decision, so outward beauty is an abstract concept from my perspective. 

To feel beautiful, I did all the usual things that a woman may do: wear makeup, get my hair done, dress nicely, etc. Although I looked stunning in the mirror, when all that was gone, and it was just me, I felt as if the beauty had disappeared. 

In 1 Peter 3:4a, I found that the answer to feeling beautiful is found in my inner self. Taking care of my inner self. Caring for my inner self allows me to feel beautiful. It produces in me a gentle and quiet spirit that doesn't fade when all the outward things are gone. I can feel beautiful because I am. My inner self accepts that I am wonderfully made; this leads me to do the things I do for my outward appearance. I want my outside to match my inside. 

There were areas in me that I was not willing to say to God, I am hurting on the inside. I had to learn to be vulnerable with God, allow Him to comfort me, renew me, refresh me. With God, I embrace my feelings and choose not to give them permission to boss me around. Instead, I can speak the truth to them. 

My inner self was unable to feel beautiful because it was hurting. Some wounds need to be treated by The Master Physician. I once read that you don't need to be a happy Christian to make it to heaven; you just need to stay faithful to God till the end. How we stay faithful varies.

Turning to God, placing everything before him, and submitting to him, allows me to rid myself of whatever  prevents my inner self from seeing how beautiful He has made me.

I feel beautiful. I have accepted that I am. God is continuously dressing my inner self to shine bright like the stars. Now, dressing me on the outside is fun because I get to play dress-up with God's wonderful creation. 

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:4