Woohoo. Keepsake #25.

If you have read my other keepsakes, thank you. If you are reading anything for the first time, thank you. I am grateful for you both as you could be using your time reading something else but you said, “let me read this post”.” I don’t take that for granted. 

If you don’t know what I mean by keepsakes I will resume. Basically I have a plastic storage bin full of journals of my prayers and personal reflections I have kept since 1996, when I first became a Christian. I decided a few months before my 50th birthday to read them and write the lessons I can take from walking with God. Once I completed it, I publish one publicly every week. You can read more details in the first post I published about this gift to myself and hopefully to those who read it. 

During the process I learned a lot I want to remember in the present from the past. As I went over keepsake #25 getting ready to publish I realized it wasn’t what I expected when I read it again. It felt anticlimactic. I tried to make it this big moment, “25 Keepsakes” but it didn’t make sense to me so I deleted it. 

I found myself going over some notes I took from my time with my dad in Panamá in April 2022 and that is what I chose to publish for this keepsake. It felt appropriate to share some in this spot.  After all they are keepsake’s from  visiting my dad during a very difficult time. Hope you enjoy it!

30 Keepsake’s. Written April 2022. 

1- Although my dad's face was covered with an oxygen mask and he could barely talk, as soon as he saw me tears of joy as he gave me a small grin rolled from his eyes.

2- When figuring out who should see dad first my sister said: “you should go first and give him the news we are here to see him.”

3- When I asked my dad if he was leaving (honestly thought he was dying. The doctors had little hope and my dad didn’t look good at all) he said with a grasping voice: “not yet” I laughed because I thought he was delusional but he really was telling the truth. 

4- My uncle reminded me of the dinner he and his significant other, my husband and myself, had . My dad enjoyed his food and even ate mine. 

5- After a few days of being in Panamá I walked into the hospital expecting him to be as I had seen him for three days, lifeless. He was sitting up, had blood coming out of his mouth and was clearly talking. I was speechless and overwhelmed with happiness. 

6- I was able to witness my dad tell my sister she was beautiful and genuinely saying, I love you to each other. This was amazing as my dad and sister's relationship was not good. I was grateful to be there for that moment. I am sure it brought healing for both of them.

7- My dad was happy when I showed him the encouraging videos from my mom, siblings and my children had recorded for him to watch. I love hearing my son Joseph say, I wish I could be with you grandpa. 

8- My dad will give me a huge smile every time I pull my face mask down so he can see my whole face. 

9- My dad was determined to have a piece of brownie. He was so determined he asked for a picture of Arlo, my grandpuppy. That was hilarious. I was able to get doctor permission to feed him a small piece, in the middle of eating it he stopped and asked if I saved a piece for Arlo. Priceless memory.

10- Enjoying a time with my sister we never expected.  Celebrating my 50th with my sister at Chillin restaurant in Panama. Singing to the old song from our adolescent years that the band happens to be playing , eating food I can still taste. We had a blast. Such a blast. An unforgettable time. 

11- My sister and I enjoyed a four days getaway in our country of birth. Not under the circumstances we wanted but we made the most of the free time we had there.

12- I was able to see my dad daily for 15 days. Priceless.

13- My dad enjoyed my back rubs and scratches. He enjoyed me kissing his cheek. He enjoyed it so much he would point to his cheek so I could give him a kiss.

14- I leaned over and laid my head on my dad’s belly for a bit. It was the closest the child with me could get to nourish that part of my soul. I could have stayed in that position all day. I was peaceful and priceless. 

15- My dad everyday will say: “I love Cory” Asking to talk to him constantly. When I was able to FaceTime so he could see my hubby, my dad's joy to see him was priceless.

16- Before the doctor gave me permission to give my dad cake, when he asked me I would say, I can’t. One day he said I could leave with a mad tone. When I said okay he said nevermind I can stay. Funny he almost kicked me out of his room for a piece of cake. 

17- Oh this one! My dad said: “I want a job. I will do anything, even sweep, mop, whatever it takes to get money for my grandchildren” I said he didn’t need to do that but replied: he still wants to. I love how in his physical weaknesses he felt strong to work so he could financially give to his grandkids. 

18- In spite of what took my sister and I to Panamá, she treated me to the best manicure I’ve ever had. I mean ever had. 

19- Being immersed in the church culture I was brought up in after 20th years and hearing my uncle preach whom I also hadn’t seen in 20 years let me see how God was my refuge from the storm and turmoil as a child.

20- One of the nurses said, he has bounced back from seeing you guys. 

21- God gave me many opportunities to comfort my dad in the hospital.

22- I saw my dad has a generous heart as he talked about all the things he wanted to get for those he loves.

23- Feeding my dad lunch was priceless. I also realized I have no practice feeding an elderly and weak person. I got the food all over his face. There was food everywhere. 

24- I spend lots of time crying out to God when I didn’t know what to pray for. My dad seemed to be getting better and lots of friends were telling me that can happen when someone is in the shape of my dad and getting ready to die. That the person can make a quick recovery before they close their eyes forever. That kept me feeling anxious. As I was weeping one morning the receptionist came to the deck and said the doctor wants to talk to you. During my first visit I left the hospital with the hotel number so they can call me in case of an emergency. This was the first time they called. I expected the worst, but instead the doctor said, everything is okay. I just want you to know he is doing so good today and has a lot of energy. I hope he stays like that until you stop by. I cried a sigh of relief and surprise.

25- God providing my Tia Martina as a place of safety, love, support and comfort for me. 

26- My dad was so full of joy when I FaceTime my children to say hi to him. 

27-   My dad said: “I want to be like Cory (my husband), he works hard, he has been good to you.” This is the first time I remember hearing my dad say he wanted to be like someone. I was speechless. 

28- One day he was talking better with the oxygen mask and sang Happy Birthday to me. So cute

29- My husband was understanding and flexible as my days of stay in Panama changed often with my dad's setbacks and improvements. 

30- Miracles can produce an array of emotions and feelings. 

My dad made a full recovery. So much so that he studiesd the Bible with a member of the Panama International Church and he is getting baptized on Sunday God’s will. He wasn’t leaving me yet as he said when I saw him in the hospital. God was not done with him yet.

To God be the glory. Thank you for reading.