I recently read a book called "The Peacemaker" by Ken Sandle. In the book, there was a statement that got my attention that addresses areas in our life that create personal conflict: "Good things you want too much (desires elevated to demands)." 

I had to read the statement twice and pause to reflect on how I have had internal conflicts or have hurt others because my desire became a demand. 

Having a desire is not a bad thing; in fact, I love knowing that God wants to give me the desires of my heart. "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4).  When that is my immediate desire, then my heart is pleasing in God's sight. 

"May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock, and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19:14). 

There are many desires I have had that took second place or are no longer there because taking delight in the Lord helped me to see that my desire was creating conflict in my heart and, in some cases, between me and others. 

One example was when I embarked on a journey to get my clinical degree in counseling.  I was excited. But then the waves came , and rather than recognizing it as a wave and picking myself up, I became swallowed by it.  A situation had taken place unexpectedly requiring me to drop going to school and focus on it. I was bitter and angry at the problem and the people involved in it. My desire to become a clinician became a demand, which led me to many internal conflicts.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?  You desire but do not have, so you kill.  You covet, but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." (James 4:1-3 NIV) 

I had gone through healing that changed my life radically.  I desired so much to serve others in this way.  My desire was good, but I had forgotten that the healing I received came from my desire to take delight in the Lord. The very thing that led me to recovery was looking TO GOD. In the example I cited above, I stopped looking to him for direction when my desire became a demand. 

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord..." (Acts 3:19 NIV) 

God showed me how my desire started to blind me.  I stopped seeing the ways God was using me to help without a clinical degree.  I repented of this demand to become a clinician counselor, and God refreshed me by allowing me to continue to serve and help in other ways.  I was able to help many friends by sharing my story, seek professional help. 

By the time the situation was settled, I was at peace.  And I trust God will make it clear when to start again. 

"In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." (Proverbs 16:9 NIV) 

As the situation resolved itself, God led me on many adventures, including helping women find healing.  Not because I had a counseling degree but because I believe that God is the ultimate healer.  Counseling, life coaching, self-help books, etc., are tools God uses to take you deeper into areas where you are stuck by making us aware of blind spots.  It wasn't my college experience that helped, but it was me deciding to delight in the Lord, which means his plans and desires. 

Without taking delight in the Lord and trusting him, there is no way I can share vulnerability with others leaving myself open to criticism of all kinds. 

Things were looking good.  It seemed like a good time to take on that project of becoming a clinician.  Classes were in full motion when another wave hit.  This time I was no longer demanding a degree, so I picked myself up, cried about it with some close friends, and moved forward.  There was no hesitation in my mind to move forward delighting myself in doing exactly what God was calling me to do at that time. 

Jesus replied, "What is impossible with man is possible with God." (Luke 18:27 NIV) 

Just like before, the storm had passed, but this time I was different.  I was genuinely okay.  In fact, this time, I chose to say, God, you know my desire, I will trust in you. 

The pandemic hit, and I found myself at home, developing new visions.  I begin to enjoy doing things virtually.  I had the privilege of doing several speaking engagements.  As I shared my heart and life, many women shared how stuck they felt in life during this time.  I saw the need for more professional services for women to help them move forward.

A few years ago, I was introduced to the idea of Life-Coaching.  I hired one because I was having difficulty navigating all the roles in my own life. While working with the coach and sharing my life and all the things God had done, he encouraged me and said: "Olivia, you are a Life-Coach." 

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  Through these, he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." (2 Peter 1:3-4 NIV)

I believe that God has given us everything we need for a godly life.  He provides in many ways.  I am not where I want to be, but I am definitely not where I was: often being swallowed by my desires that became demands. 

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.  And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." (Luke 22:31-32 NIV) 

During this pandemic, I have done so much reflecting, and one thing is real: Satan is in the business of wanting to sift us as wheat.  However, Jesus prays for us (see John 17:20-26), and we can turn it around.  When we do, he expects us to go back and strengthen others. 

Developing this conviction led me to embark on the journey of becoming a Certified Life-Coach. I am grateful that I can make myself available to anyone who may be stuck or simply want to figure out where to go in life. 

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV) 

Allowing God to search my heart leads me to delight myself in him.  When I do so it is impressive where he leads me.  He does give me the desires of my heart. 

Focusing on his desires keeps me from becoming demanding and allows me to freely do what he asks of me while leaving my mark in life.

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4).