Keepsake #1
I found the following piece while organizing my Google documents on my computer to prepare for this project. I wrote this in 2019. I believe it's the perfect way to start publishing my Keepsakes. I originally planned to publish a book called Masterpiece,... you'll soon see why. I see now that it was not meant to be the title of a book, but the first Keepsake I will publish as reminder of things I forget about the ways God works and to share with my readers.
Masterpiece (written in 2019)
“However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” ---the things God has prepared for those who love him---" 1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV
During one of the hardest moments of my life, as I was sharing with my Life-Coach, Dave Mitchell, about how hard it was to deal with whatever I was going through at the time, I made a comment about how, as a black and white thinker, it was hard to handle the situation I was facing. I was aware that this kind of thinking was not the best as life can be unpredictable at times. What he said allowed me to reframe my thoughts, “You are right, black and white thinking is not helpful. Black and white are colors, but not the only ones that exist, there are other colors.” He encouraged me to think of life in all colors, to visualize life as a box of colors. Hearing that immediately reminded me of the line in the movie Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get.” Years ago, when I watched that movie, that statement sounded poetic. In my conversation with Dave, considering what I was going through, that statement or anything like it created feelings of fear, anxiety and even some panic.
Not knowing what I am going to get can be scary. I don't like the unknown. Therefore, it’s not easy for me to take chances; I prefer doing what I know will work. I’d rather order the same food when I go out to eat, go to the same restaurants, try to avoid certain conversations, use the same nail polish, go on the same vacation trips, and keep my house the same style. The list can go on.
Although I learned to embrace the unknown thanks to God's love and the people he has placed in my life to help me grow in that area, the unknown can still be difficult. It helps to remember that every unknown to me is known to God.
So, you can image why during one of the hardest times of my life, someone telling me that life is like a box of colors was not in any way comforting. As the talk progressed, his explanation brought me peace as we processed his statement together. Not only that, but I was reminded that it is okay if I feel apprehensive about the unknown, it is what I do with those feelings that determine what happens. He shared how a painting, no matter how wearied it looks, is unique and has a story. There was thought put into that piece of art. In the artist's mind were flowing thoughts that brought about a painting. Every color in that painting has a place and purpose. He then asked, what if I looked at my life in that way, that everything that happens in my life is a color God is using to create my life story. Our coaching session ended, but his words gave me a new perspective and something to think about.
Later, as I processed our conversation, I remembered the day I first saw a multicolored pen. It was the coolest thing. In my hands I held a tool that brought my writing to life. I would use different colors in different parts of my writing. Remembering that moment brings joy to my heart. I don't know why I picked the colors I did at the moment I was writing, I just knew they looked good on the words I was writing. I can still remember how colorful my writing became with that pen. Being able to write with something other than black or blue, or to underline a word with a different color other than red brought me so much joy. As I write about this, I can picture my writings as a young girl. My writing came to life because I loved to write and with this new pen, I loved it even more.
This memory gave me an AH-HA moment from the talk with Dave: I am like a multicolored pen. The colors in me are used by God to tell a story. My story. He placed in me the exact color ink needed as He colors what he already designed.
My colors represent a joy I can hardly describe, a laughter I can barely contain, a pain that seems so unbearable at the moment I can hardly breath, think, or feel, a courage that I didn't think I had, a vision that moved me to tears or caused me to tremble, a desire for justice, a fear that moved me to action, a sorrow that overwhelmed my soul, a sense of contentment that produces peace, a serenity over the things I couldn't control, a peace that transcends all understanding, a loyalty in the midst of doubt, a love I can't put into words and a trust in the One who created me.
I found beauty in thinking in black and white, but I had neglected to see the beauty in all the other colors. I found my imagination flowing as I thought, what if instead of hoarding the other colors, living afraid to see what they can create together, I gave them to God freely so He can use it for His glory. I can imagine how excited God will be, He won't have to argue with me or humble me out so He can use the colors of my life. What if I looked at my life in colors and said,
Black And White - safety and security
Red - my convictions
Blue - the things I have worked on in my life
Orange - my disappointments
Green - what makes Him happy
Purple - my laughter
Pink - my sorrows
Yellow - my frustrations
Brown - my marriage
Gray - what I have learn in parenting
Silver - what I have learned in my marriage
The list goes on.... Wow. Instead of being afraid of the unknown, I will be excited. Excited to see the result.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 2:11 NIV: "For who knows a person's thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."
God knows His thoughts, He knows what He is painting. Sometimes, He gives me a glimpse, which reminds me, He is working. It is not for me to assume what the finished painting will look like. The glimpse is for me to marvel at the details, not try to find answers in them; the glimpse is for me to smile while I am waiting, and not be sad when I don't get it. The glimpse is to remind me that He is still painting, not for me to assume that He is done.
My son Gabriel is an artist and I love when he allows me to get a glimpse of the process of his drawing (I find it an honor when he does because he’d rather no one look over his shoulder when he is drawing); I am always impressed by the end result. I think about what would happen if he was limited in the colors he could use, he would be limited in what he could create.
Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This scripture reminds me that the reason I get discouraged with certain life circumstances is because I focused on the strokes instead of the "Artist" who I can trust always delivers a beautiful piece.
God already drew the Masterpiece of my life. He is using me to fill it in with colors. I am a multicolored pen filled with the exact ink to fill in the colors of His Masterpiece. Each time He uses any of my colors, it's to bring to life His Masterpiece for my life. His Masterpiece has a purpose, to represent His glory, and showcase His ability and excellence as an Artist. One day I will sit at His feet, and like a child say, “Tell me Father, the story of this painting called My life. Tell me Father, why did you use those colors? How did they bring life to the painting? Tell me Father, how did my sorrow, accomplishments, set-backs, joy, etc. add beauty to this portrait?”
As life takes its course, when I focus on a single brushstroke: the circumstance that I am currently facing, I become desperate, controlling, and manipulative because I assume that I know exactly where that stroke is leading me, and I don't like it. When I focus on the fact that there will be many brushstrokes, and each one is one part of a bigger picture, I am at peace.
It is my desire to remember that the strokes I see are just a glimpse of a beautiful painting called my life. It may not look like it's going to be beautiful, but it will.
Jesus’ Masterpiece tells a beautiful story of how I, a sinner, can have a relationship with the Creator of the World, the Author of life. The truth is, if I didn't have the bigger picture of Jesus’ life and purpose, I would have looked at some strokes and concluded that his story would end very badly, but God shows me through Jesus, that I must believe, because even in the darkest moments He is creating a Masterpiece.
It is my desire to surrender to God, giving Him access to all of the colors of my life. He does His best work if I don't hoard the colors but instead, freely hand them to Him. As I already said, that is scary for me. Is easier to only give him the black and white color, but one moment at a time I must chose to walk in faith, fully confident that He will deliver an incredible painting. As do this I find that the hardest part is to wait. Wait while He is still painting,
So, instead of seeing life as a box of chocolates, and I don't know what I am going to get; I will chose to look at life as a box of colors, I know what I am going to get. I will get a beautiful painting, a Masterpiece from the Artist of my life. One day it will all make sense. I look forward to that day.
On October 27, 2009 in a prayer I wrote. “I pray to work on my dream of writing so I will encourage others the way you (God) encourage my thoughts” Here I am 13 years later, a publish author.
Truly God is an amazing artist, his steps to completing a Masterpiece of my life is not as black and white as I can sometimes think, it’s actually filled with many colors that will leave me speechless when I put my trust Him.
Hope you enjoyed this Keepsake!