Depression is real!

Sometimes, we see an image or a portrait and take it as it is. Sadly, that is why we are judgmental and critical of others. I am guilty of that. You see my picture here; what you don’t know is that it took a lot of energy for me to take it. I almost didn’t share this, but I am because I love my role as a Life Coach. One of my favorite parts of being a Life Coach is reminding my clients that what they feel does not have to define them. I love telling them truths about themselves which can be easy to forget when they are feeling defeated.

11 years ago I was diagnosed with depression. I still remember the way I described to the doctor; “I feel like someone entered my body and turn a switch to OFF, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get the switch back ON.” I am grateful that since that diagnosis, I have learned to accept that this can happen to me, and I have two choices: feel shame about it or take a baby step toward doing something that will be nourishing.

This morning I woke up and the button was turned off. It took all the strength in my body to get up and take the next step. It helps me to spend time outside in God’s creation, so I went to a park near my house, and I sat there for 2 hours. Breathing in the air was priceless. Eventually, I was able to move from feeling dark and gloomy to a more peaceful state of mind.

It was nice. I came home, did some reading, made some calls, set my timer for 30 mins, and took a nap, woke up, but the switch was still OFF by the way. I took a shower and took the picture you see here. Why?

You see, I do not need someone to tell me what I did was amazing. I know it is, I have learned to rejoice whenever I work through times like these and all the glory goes to God. I share this because, before I left the park something happened. As I sat in my car preparing to drive back home, I listened to “Amazed” by Hezekiah Walker. I decided to finish listening to the song before I drove off; as I listened, a young woman parked next to me, got out of her car, and walked to a nearby bench. As she walked, she was visibly sad or angry. She sat for a while then laid down on the bench. After much hesitation, I got out of my car and sat on a bench next to the one she was sitting on. As soon as I mustered the courage to connect with her, a group of ladies walking their dogs came by. They enthusiastically said, “good morning”. I responded to their greeting, but the young lady got up, walked off wiping tears from her eyes and walked away. When I looked back after the ladies with the dog were at a distance she had already driven off.

Her face is on my mind. I think that is why I am writing. I realized that yes, I struggle with depression, a condition that leads me to feeling many things including loneliness. By the grace of God I have truths that help me fight those feelings. I am not alone even if that is how I feel. I can’t imagine feeling that way and not having “truths” to tell myself.

I’m not sure who needs to hear this right now, but the truth is: “You are not alone, someone cares.” You will realize that truth a soon as you take the next step to nourish yourself or reach out. As for me, I will continue doing the same, one step at a time, until my switch gets turned back ON, which hopefully does not take too long.

Thanks for reading. If you are in need of support navigating these feelings I will be happy to work you with you!