Thought of the day. #11

Sometimes I am hurt by a question or comment. This happens when I am caught off guard, when I didn’t expect the comment, the unsolicited advice, the opinion, etc. 

You would think it happens more with strangers, but it’s the opposite. Usually it’s people I know well and have good relationships with. 

I ask myself, Why is that? Why do I get offended by people I love and respect?The answer is simple, I become self-focused. I focus on how I feel. Something in me gets triggered and instead of addressing that, so I can be fully present in the conversation, I run with whatever emotions I am feeling and forget that the person in front of me cares about me. 

As I write this, I think how nice it would be to stop and say, “I want to hear you but I think something just got triggered in me, give me a moment to address that.” Then remind myself to not project past hurt or trauma into this conversation. The conversation will be a lot more pleasant it I did that.

In therapy, when my panic attacks were firing off like fireworks, the therapist advised me to stop and ask myself a couple of questions: What day is it and where am I currently? The goal was to bring me back to the present situation rather than operating from the past. 

When I operate from the past in my current relationships, I don’t fight fair and get easily hurt. My hope is to continue working on remembering what day it is, where I am currently at, and I will add who it is I am talking to. That way my interactions will reflect Colosians 4:6, always full of grace, seasoned with salt. 

“Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.” Proverbs 28:26 NIV