Another Matthew 14:13-21 moment.

My Matthew 14:13-21 moments are those moments when, with only  the faith of a mustard seed, I lift up something to God in prayer and he multiplies it and pours out so much that it’s hard to soak it in. I enjoy the blessing with a sense of awe,  grateful for all who added strength to my request by praying for me, perplexed at what had just happened, and wondering: Why me?

These past couple of months I have been working on feeling like I am part of a community. Not just a member who is there to give, but also a member who shares her suffering and joy with her community. God has given me the ability to “build” connection in a way I never expected. It’s interesting how the thing you are good at sometimes, you can also be blind to recognize that you are not always good at doing that for yourself. It has not been easy, but I have been intentional in not waiting for an emergency or a tragedy to share my hurt and desires with others. I do a lot of writing and sharing a lot, but I do hold back. In the midst of the struggle, I can have a hard time reaching out. I have a few friends I feel comfortable doing that with, but even with them it is hard. I have made the decision to work on this and it’s very out of my comfort zone. The thing is, every time I have done that, I end up having a Matthew 14:13-21 moment. I could describe each of those moments with details as I clearly remember each of them. You have probably read about some of them in my previous writings. 

October 30, 2021 was one of them, and as it came to an end my husband said, “Wow what a day. I can’t wait to see what you will write about this one.” The truth is I wasn’t planning on writing anything. I was happy to enjoy the moment with him, my uncle and his wife who were with us. But I thought about it and I realized this is one of those times that I should write, not for me, but for the glory of God and to encourage the saints who prayed for me and others who may need encouragement to dust off old prayers, something I am trying to practice myself. 

The back story: I had not seen my dad in a couple years due to schedule and  the COVID restrictions at the facility that is caring for his physical and mental health. . I had stopped thinking about going to see him this year. It seemed like a lot to go with no guarantee I will see him. I also did not like the idea of only getting to wave from afar. My dad’s health, mentally and physically, has declined the past two years. We have had some scary moments. Anyway, God helped me to clearly see that I was making a decision to not go and see my dad this year even though  there was still over 3 months till the year is over. So I prayed and asked God for forgiveness.. It is amazing how when you surrender, your heart lets you focus on doing your part and letting God do his. My brother and sister ended up going to see my dad and were allowed to wave at him from a distance of about 30 yards for a few minutes. Although it wasn’t a lot, my dad was soooo happy to see them.

With my husband coaching me I booked a ticket to go October 29-November 1, 2021. I asked him to go with me as I felt this would be an emotional trip. When I called the facility, the owner said I could get 15 minutes or less on the Saturday I was there. I was worried because the weather forecast showed it was going to rain during our entire stay.

I decided to just stay focused on praying and trusting, although it wasn’t easy. It was an internal battle to not focus on what I felt or saw but on praying to God and asking others to pray that my 15 minutes with my dad will encourage his soul. I had to think more about him than me. That also was not easy because every time I thought about me, I focused on how difficult this trip will be. My mind fought against my desire to focus on the blessing this will be for my dad and instead focused on how painful this encounter will be when we say goodbye.

First, I prayed to not give up on the idea of seeing my dad this year. Once the ticket was purchased, I focused on praying for two things to make our 15 minutes meaningful: 15 minutes of connection, not 15 minutes of perfection, and I  added what seemed like an impossible prayer: to hug him. 

The day came when I was going to see him and I received a call from the facility. They said my dad woke up with a swollen eye, this was the second time this happened. The first time it was scary as his entire face completely swelled up and all we saw was the photo of his face. He was prescribed antibiotics and in a couple days the swelling went down. This time, the caregiver said that before it gets like the last time, maybe I could take him to the E.R. If they called for an ambulance transport, it would charge an outrageous fee, but since we were coming to visit, we could take him. Since I knew that my dad’s condition  was only temporary, I knew it would go down as they are figuring out what is causing it. I was happy I will see him and be close to him. I think it is the first time I have been so excited to go to an ER visit with someone. 

Things moved quickly and my uncle and his wife got us to the hospital. I got to see my dad and sat with him at the hospital. They eventually discharged him and reduced one of the medications he is taking to see if that helped. We were at the hospital for 5 hours until he was discharged. Since we hadn’t eaten, we went to a restauran. As we ate I was able to FaceTime all my kids to say hello to him, my mom, my siblings and other relatives. Afterward we grabbed him some snacks he wanted. He really wanted peanut butter!

We ended up having close to 8 hours of connection, fun and laughter. The only time we shed tears was when we first saw each other. He was so surprised. He said he had been waiting for me to come see him for a long time. He couldn’t believe the time actually came. 

In the car on the way to the hospital he was singing. 

As a bonus, I saw him the next day at the facility 30 yards away because we had to drop off his medication. 

He had a big smile. We waved goodbye and I told him that I would see him again in a few months! 

God took the two prayer requests I placed before him and multiplied them. He also gave my dad a field trip as he hasn’t been outside that facility for over a year and the last time he was in the ambulance to get treated for his face swellinging.  

God answered my prayers. I did not do so with supernatural faith. I did, invited others to pray for this trip. I believe that God heard the requests so many times by people who love me that he answered to build my faith and theirs. 

Thank you for praying! 

Luke 18:27